As children of the 1980s now having our own kids, we often look back at our own childhoods and think: "I can't believe my parents let me do that." Parenting back in the 1980s was simply a different ball game than parenting today. Anyway, without any further yappin' from us, here are just a few of the differences between parenting now and parenting in the '80s:
'80s: Strap excess children to roof of car
Now: Required to put children in rear-facing car seats until age 25
'80s: You're not entirely sure where your kids are between 3 and 9 pm
Now: Embed Apple AirTag under child's skin so you can track him in real time
'80s: Eat out at a restaurant as a special treat once every few months
Now: Have a home-cooked meal as a special treat once every few months
'80s: Kid asks you for $10 so he can go to dinner and the movies with his friends
Now: Kid asks you for $100 so he can get a value meal at McDonald's
'80s: Teach kids to say no to drugs
Now: Prescribe kid 17 antidepressants
'80s: Tell your daughter it's OK to be a tomboy; not every girl is the same
Now: Cut off her boobs
'80s: Kid delighted to receive totally rad He-Man castle playset for Christmas
Now: Kid upset he only got last year's model iPhone for Christmas
'80s: Check under kid's mattress for pornography
Now: Check kid's school library for pornography
'80s: Tell kid to stop playing video games 'cause they'll rot his brain
Now: Tell kid to stop playing bad video games like Fortnite and play the classics on your old NES instead
'80s: Complain about how lazy and entitled kids these days are
Now: Same
There you have it. Whether you parented some bad-to-the-bone kids in the '80s or are trying to parent some lazy entitled Gen Zers today, we can all agree: kids are weirdos.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
