SEATTLE, WA—After being seen on 43-year-old Preaching Pastor Scot Martin’s legs during his City Church sermon on Sunday, a pair of RUDE Blue Livier Wash Vintage Super Skinny Jeans issued a heartfelt apology to the church community, sources confirmed Monday.
“I am so embarrassed,” the statement read in part. “There is no excuse for me to be spotted on any man of this age—especially a pastor. This was a serious lapse in judgment. I have no idea why Scot thought this would work out.”
The impossibly tight article of denim, reportedly purchased late at night from Hot Topic’s website, went on to promise that it will do whatever it can “to be sure that this never happens to me again,” before asking for help from the general public to raise awareness and actively combat similar situations across the nation.
“If you have a middle-aged pastor presuming to teach the Word of God and shepherd a congregation in a serious manner and you see a pair of jeans like me anywhere near him, please, talk some sense into him. Get family and friends involved if you have to. There is no excuse.”