OAK BLUFFS, MA - Carrying a 47-over-par performance to the 18th tee at Farm Neck Golf Club during his vacation on the island of Martha's Vineyard Thursday, President Obama told golfing buddy Larry David that he was determined to "get one back," sources reported.
After utilizing his 10th and final mulligan on an errant slice, the commander-in-chief hit a solid drive down the fairway from the red tees on the 435-yard par 5, leaving approximately 275 yards left to the front of the green. Then "the best couple of 3-woods [he has] ever hit," along with a very lucky bounce, put him in a situation the leader of the free world has not seen in quite some time: a mere eight feet away from recording a birdie.
Recognizing the magnitude of the moment, David asked for permission to hole out his five-footer in order to set the stage for Obama's birdie attempt, which the President granted.
"This one's for all the poor folks down in the great state of Louisiana," Obama reportedly said to David, before addressing the ball. The lefty then flawlessly executed his trademark outside-to-inside, wrist-heavy putting stroke, sending his customized Titleist skipping smoothly - right into the center of the cup.
After a nanosecond of solemn silence to honor the worst domestic natural disaster in four years, the President celebrated his birdie by dropping his putter and thrusting both fists into the air, whooping loudly, as nearby Secret Service agents applauded.
Waving to everyone who had witnessed the magical moment, Obama called out loudly, "That was for Louisiana!"
"Ask Larry - I even said it before I putted!" he added.