Opinion: I Will Stop At Nothing To Take Away Your Constitutional Rights—Whoa Bro, Why Are You Attacking Me, I'm Just A Kid!
Opinion · Mar 27, 2018 · BabylonBee.com

The national movement for gun control marches forward, and we brave, smart, altruistic students are at the forefront of the fight. We are diverse in our goals and our backgrounds. Some are content to call for stricter background checks, some want to go further and ban certain types of guns and rifles, some want to go all the way and see the Second Amendment totally repealed.

Let me be clear about my intentions here: I'm in the latter camp. I will not stop until your constitutionally guaranteed right to defend yourself has been stripped away.

Wait, whoa, bro, why are you attacking me? I'm just a kid! Geez, somebody's touchy, lol!

Seriously, going after children like that? That's just low.

Somebody's a little insecure. Yeesh!

Anyway, yeah, so I think we should repeal the Second Amendment, and I demand you take me seriously as an adult participant in this national conversation. I know you personally didn't do anything wrong, but I will fight tooth and nail to get your private property and right to defend yourself taken away as soon as humanly possible.

But don't attack me at all - I'm just a 17-year-old kid, man!

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