WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several aides sat Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez down Monday to show to her how her radical, socialist tax plans simply don't add up, explaining how she needs to make radical changes if she's going to make any headway implementing her policies.
In response to the cold, hard numbers that shredded her economic plans, Ocasio-Cortez pointed out that she was being unfairly targeted by objective facts because she's a woman and a minority.
"When my economic plans are revealed to be hopelessly flawed, it becomes obvious that numbers have a deep-seated, institutional bias against me because I'm a woman," she said. "Would the numbers call this stuff out if I were a man? No, of course they wouldn't. Mathematical facts are simply not comfortable with a powerful, strong woman like me."
"Economic realities simply aren't ready for a girl from da Bronx!" she added as she posted a tweet condemning the "institutionalized patriarchy" inherent in mathematics.
She also said that numbers are "obsessed" with her and that her popularity and success are just "getting under math's skin."
"I am sick of harsh economic facts catcalling me and mathsplaining everything to me!" she said.