LANDOVER, MD—The Obamas took an evening to celebrate their “historic” legacy on advocating for women by attending a Jay-Z and Beyonce concert over the weekend, excited concertgoers reported.
Fellow Jay-Z fans recorded the former president and his wife jamming along to the songs of the rapper with a history of violent, crass, and crude language targeting women.
“We got so much accomplished for the status of women in my eight years,” Obama told reporters after the event. “And there’s no better way to celebrate that than by jamming to some classic Jay-Z tunes.”
“Man, I was an awesome president,” he added under his breath.
Concert attendees reported they were “delighted” to see the Obamas dancing in celebration of their far-reaching accomplishments on women’s rights. “It was just so inspiring,” said one girl who recorded video of the Obamas at the show. “Knowing that they were there and, like, still fighting for women and stuff even when Trump is trying to attack all the women in the country and stuff.”
At publishing time, Obama had told reporters that he has “99 problems but worrying that the media will rightfully criticize me for my inconsistent actions ain’t one.”
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.