WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Norwegian Nobel Committee announced that they will be awarding former President Obama the Nobel Prize in medicine for bravely contracting the deadly virus known as COVID-19.
"Many people around the world have contracted COVID, but none have done it with such grace, class, and dignity as Barack Obama," said Nobel Laureate Johan Lindströmolofsson. "This blessed child of light, this son of hope, has taken COVID upon himself for all mankind. Thank you Obama. You deserve this prize. We love you." Lindströmolofsson then fell to the ground and wept.
Obama's team of 38 dedicated physicians says he is only experiencing mild symptoms and will be fully recovered soon.
"I uhhh..... got the COVID," said Obama to a group of swooning and crying journalists. "I got vaccinated and boosted three times so uhhhhh... it's uhhh... gonna be ok! Michelle has me locked in the basement until I stop coughing so... uhhh.... don't worry... about me! Make sure and get vaccinated!"
Obama will receive his Nobel Prize when they convene again for ceremonies at the end of this year. He has already begun a new COVID memoir, which has already been selected for a Pulitzer Prize.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.