NEW YORK, NY — Scores of truckers have vowed to boycott New York City in response to the "egregious" $355 million fraud ruling against former President Donald Trump. The possible boycott has been a source of concern for the city's teachers, as it could delay shipments of gay porn to their elementary schools.
"Some inner-city children are too poor for the privilege of having gay porn at home. This vulnerable population relies on us to provide them with armfuls of such material at taxpayers' expense," said one school teacher, "If our supply of smut for children is cut off, these children may, in fact, die."
Democrat lawmakers in NYC are scrambling to avert the disaster of children having no access to obscene filth by proposing a law to fine each individual trucker $355 Million for boycotting the Big Apple. Judge Engoron pledged his help by offering to fine truckers "80 gazillion splintillion frillion dollars."
At publishing time, truckers had offered to end the boycott if they would be allowed to plow through the NYPD dance team.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
