LOS ANGELES, CA - After a judge ended her conservatorship, Britney Spears is free to leave her home and walk freely in California for the first time in 12 years. Unfortunately, she had no idea that California has become a post-apocalyptic dystopia.
"Wha... what happened here?" stuttered Britney as she stepped out her front door into a scorched wasteland littered with tents, burnt trees, and poop.
"Hey kid," she said to a feral child running by. "I haven't really been keeping up with the news. What happened here?"
The child screeched in an unknown tongue and skittered away behind a pile of trash.
According to sources, Gavin Newsom was there waiting to greet the newly freed Britney Spears. "Congratulations on your freedom, Britney!" exclaimed Newsom. "Now put on your mask and get back inside! Don't you know there's a pandemic?"
Witnesses say Spears failed to immediately comply with the order and is now in an L.A. jail.
Welcome back, Britney!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
