PAWTUCKET, RI—In a press release Friday, Hasbro announced a new version of classic board game Operation in which players use essential oils to treat serious medical conditions rather than taking the patient, Cavity Sam, into a hospital for expensive, invasive surgery.
Much like the typical version, players draw a card to see which ailment they are supposed to cure on their turn and how much money they'll earn for a success. However, instead of using tweezers to remove potentially deadly growths all throughout Sam's body, players will need to apply the correct oil. If they put the wrong oil into the board, blend the concoction improperly, or miss their target, the board will buzz, indicating the player has failed.
"For instance, if the patient has a collapsed lung, conventional Operation wisdom would be to operate," said a Hasbro rep demoing the game in a video on YouTube. "But this is just propaganda from Big Pharma. All that collapsed lung needs is a little frankincense, and Cavity Sam is good to go." The demonstrator then showed how lavender could cure the patient's sore throat, lemongrass his gout, and cassia a serious cardiac event like a heart attack.
"We're finally pushing back against the big-dollar medical industry," she said before attempting to cure Sam's obesity with a "Slim N' Sassy" blend. "Oops! I accidentally dropped the oil into his heart attack slot. Now he's dead."
The game already has two expansions announced: Essential Oil Starter Pack 1, which contains over 50 new oils for kids to experiment with, and Oil Baron, which tasks players with hiring their friends and family to work for their new work-from-home essential oil empire.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.