NEW YORK, NY — Rockstar Games has announced new details about its upcoming Grand Theft Auto installment, confirming that the new game will have an unlockable "Soros DA Mode" where all crime is legal.
"Players demand more realism in games these days," Sam Houser, President of Rockstar Games, told reporters after making the announcement. "The days of simply being arrested for committing a crime are no more. It was time to bring the GTA franchise into the new world."
While rumors abound and much of the details about the new game remain shrouded in secrecy, developers have confirmed there will be a more "realistic" mode in which George Soros-backed district attorneys don't prosecute lawbreakers, essentially rendering all the simulated crimes legal in the game. Early-development footage of GTA VI in its pre-alpha state shows the main character going on a killing spree, selling fentanyl to school kids, and carjacking high-end luxury vehicles in front of a uniformed police officer who shouts, "Hey man, maybe that's not a good idea!" As the released early game footage goes on, the officer is then himself arrested for misgendering the player character without even bothering to ask for their pronouns.
Much like real life, putting the game in "Soros DA mode" also will exponentially increase the amount of violent crime in the city. "The player character isn't the only violent criminal now," said lead game tester Lenny McCracken. "You will be trying to rob a store only to realize that several NPCs are already robbing that store! Then other NPCs will gun down and steal from the other NPCs who just robbed the store. Sometimes you just got to know when to keep your head down in this game mode!"
According to sources, one game tester was still seeing if the Soros DA mode would send any police response to his ongoing mass murder spree, but so far after 6,337 kills, no police sirens could be heard.
At publishing time, game testers convinced Rockstar to only make "Soros DA Mode" a selectable option and not the default game mode since making all crimes legal makes the game completely boring and lame.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.