ANN ARBOR, MI—Local Biden-supporting Christian couple Matt and Shasta Chambers are finally breathing a sigh of relief after a long year of campaigning for Biden and finally bringing America back to an era of godly leadership.
"Finally, we will be able to look to godly, moral Christian leaders like Joe Biden and Kamala Harris," said Matt to reporters. "Trump brought nothing but hate, and that was because he was a stupid, dumb, gross, poopy-head. We hated him so much. We're so glad there's no more hate now that President Biden is in office."
Matt's wife Shasta agrees. "The best thing about Biden is his Christian testimony," she said. "He has never lied or done evil things as Trump did. He believes in science and free healthcare, and he respects all women, just like Jesus."
The couple went on to describe the horror and fear they felt during the 4 years of Trump's term. "It was like a nightmare," said Shasta. "Nazis and white supremacists were everywhere. Then we saw the rise of Christian nationalism, which is the evilest movement that has ever existed in the history of the world. We are so glad we were able to beat back Christian nationalism by electing our own Christian leaders who will enact godly laws and bring back true Christianity to this country by forcing their own will through Christian executive orders. Such a welcome change."
The couple has decided to take a break from politics for a few weeks before charging headlong into the next campaign to elect the first godly Christian woman as President.