U.S. — After the grotesque pink design of the new Jaguar was leaked to the public, the nation's gays have confirmed they are not really interested in the new car and will just stick with their very gay Mustang convertibles.
"We appreciate Jaguar trying to market to us by being extremely flamboyantly gay, but we already have the gayest car known to man, and it will never be topped: the Ford Mustang," said Chandler Borgins of Los Angeles, California. "We'll just stick with these, thanks."
Experts say the Mustang, which has long been a gay icon, has been purchased almost exclusively by gays for decades. "Ford really caught lightning in a bottle with this iconic sports car," said car enthusiast Jay Leno to reporters. "There has never been a gayer set of wheels to ever grace the roads of the United States."
Leno's statement was tragically cut short as he fell down some stairs, through a glass window, and into some wet cement.
Jaguar preorder figures reflect the poor reception to their rebranding and redesign, with only one preorder going to a blind Mary Kay saleswoman.
At publishing time, the nation's closeted gays had confirmed they'll be sticking with their Ford F-150s.
There's lots to be thankful for, libs!
