OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Christian men's group "50,000 Fathers" has started a prayer petition to end the tyranny and torture of wives forcing them to go to Hobby Lobby. 5kF is asking men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, asking God to allow the DYI/gift giant to slip up somewhere.

"Losing Chick-Fil-A to the LGBT movement was tough," admitted Jarred Mills, founder of 5kF, "but it showed me that there is hope for other 'Christian' businesses to screw up." Jarred shared his testimony of how Jesus saved him from drug addiction. "Those scars went deep, but Hobby Lobby scars go deeper. The hours I have spent meandering around that store looking at trinkets with my wife were pure torture."

Mills explained: "50,000 Fathers is an online group of Christian men who provide one another with support and accountability. Our mission comes from Nehemiah 4:14 which encourages men to fight for their brothers, their sons, their daughters, their wives, and their homes. This prayer petition comes from a desire to fight for our brothers."

"We are naming and claiming that Hobby Lobby would betray its Christian fans as Chick-fil-A did, for the good of our budgets."

The petition has been labeled "No Man Left In Hobby Lobby." So far, it has garnered the signatures and prayers of over 1 million men. "We have been pleasantly surprised with the outcome," said an excited member of the NMLIHB war room. 

Should the prayers prove ineffective, 5kF has planned a march by the corporate headquarters. The march would span seven days total. Protesters would march around once a day for six days, and seven on the seventh with a celebration to follow.