WASHINGTON, D.C.—The exciting new TV show Impeachment Inquiry was poised to take the ratings by storm, promising to eclipse all the other shows in its time slot. But the show will be canceled after one season, like a lot of bad TV shows and also Firefly.
After just five rocky episodes that failed to deliver any major plot twists, producers pulled the plug on the impeachment inquiry due to lack of viewers.
"The showrunners promised all these big bombshells, shocking twists, and startling revelations, but they weren't able to deliver," said one reviewer writing in Hollywood Reporter. "When there are so many better options out there---rewatching The Office, checking out The Good Place, staring at paint as it slowly dries---why would people tune into this tepid, uninspired mess?"
22% of Americans said they were disappointed with the show so far, while 78% said, "Impeachment hearings are going on?"
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that J.J. Abrams had been in charge of writing the plot and simply forgot to tie up all the loose ends.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.