Nation Wonders Who The Heck These People Are With Enough Free Time To Scour The Internet For Old, Offensive Tweets

U.S.—As more and more internet mobs roam the internet looking for old tweets and other social media posts to get people they don’t like fired, the nation has reportedly begun to wonder who the heck these people are who have enough free time in their day to do this kind of thing.

As a very small, vocal group of angry internet users continued to search every nook and cranny of the web for incriminating social media posts, the rest of the country was still completely baffled that anyone had the time for that kind of thing.

“While I think some of the things these people dig up are pretty nasty, I’m kinda just wondering who had the time to comb through years-old social media posts in the first place,” one man in Iowa said. “I mean, it’s gotta be pretty much a full-time job.”

Cindy Anderson in Los Angeles agreed: “Sure, I think there’s a few people out there I’d like to see fired, but frankly, between having an actual job and taking care of my kids, I just don’t have the time to go through everything someone posted and try to rile up the masses. That just sounds exhausting.” She further stated she’d rather reprehensible people continue to have gainful employment than spend hours every night stalking their social media accounts.

At publishing time, every single internet mob had been traced to a lone unemployed man in Oregon, who spends his every waking hour at an internet cafe searching Twitter for offensive content.