U.S. — With the growing prevalence of teachers isolating and conditioning children for sexual activity, the nation is wishing there was some word they could use to describe people who isolate and condition children for sexual activity.

"I just wish there was a more succinct way to put it," said one Dad whose two daughters were recently transitioned to boys by their teachers without his knowledge. "What do you call it when someone isolates a child from her parents in order to have inappropriate and secret sexual conversations for the purpose of desensitizing them to sexual activity so they can be easily exploited by predators and gender theory extremists? Is there a word for that?

"Gee, I dunno. Loomer? Boomer? No, that's already taken."

Journalists, education experts, and pedophiles were quick to point out that no such word exists, and it doesn't matter anyway because none of this is happening, and if you say it is happening you're a bigot, and if you find a word to describe it you'll get kicked off of social media.

"It's not happening, and it's good that it's happening, you dinosaurs!" said one kindergarten teacher.

Sources say parents will continue to search for a word to describe this strange phenomenon, hopefully before it happens to their kids.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.