Mysterious Investor 'Pancy_Nelosi' Makes Millions On Oil Trade Minutes Before Trump’s Iran Announcement

Economy · Mar 25, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Mysterious Investor 'Pancy_Nelosi' Makes Millions On Oil Trade Minutes Before Trump’s Iran Announcement

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just minutes before President Donald Trump announced a peace deal with Iran was close, a mysterious investor named "Pancy_Nelosi" placed hundreds of millions on a speculative trade that oil prices would plummet.

The remarkably-timed trade paid off to the tune of a massive, swift return on the investment, with "Pancy_Nelosi" raking in unheard-of profits in just a few hours.

Trump announced late Monday that talks in the Middle East had opened up, strikes on oil refineries would be paused, and the Strait of Hormuz was close to opening. Oil prices plunged precipitously at the news, crushing thousands of portfolios. However, one lone trader placed an enormous short on oil futures mere minutes before the news broke, cashing in to the tune of $140 million.

"I've never seen anything like it. It's almost as if that investor had some sort of insider knowledge as to what was happening in the Middle East," said stock broker Jeremy Cater. "I don't know who out there could possibly have such information, but it's hard to not think there could have been something fishy. Sadly, with the anonymized user name 'Pancy_Nelosi', we'll likely never know."

At publishing time, the same mysterious investor had placed a $100 million trade that oil futures would go back up just minutes before Iran announced it had rejected the U.S. peace deal.


Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?