WASHINGTON, D.C.—As the Democrats move ever closer to impeaching President Trump, over seven hundred clowns have signed a letter in support of an impeachment trial. These experts in wacky mischief and broad humor say in the letter that the impeachment trial should be “wacky fun for all ages.”
“It’ll be craaaazy!” said Bonkers, a spokesperson for the Clowns.
Republicans have tried to suggest the letter is partisan in nature. “It would be nothing to wave a letter around a university and find seven hundred hyper-partisan academics willing to sign anything against Trump,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. “I’m not sure a clown college would be any different.”
Bonkers dismissed the partisan concern. “We just wrote this letter because we think it’s going to be a fun show for everyone!” Bonkers went on to describe how the spectacle will involve politicians -- a subset of clowns -- all scrunching their faces and saying how serious things are, a gag sure to draw laughter from the audience watching at home. “We just want joy for everyone!” said Bonkers. “Bring on the impeachment trial!”
President Trump has condemned the letter, though. “I’m scared of nothing,” he said. “In addition to that, I’m scared of clowns.”
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.