Millions Of Unbelievers Flock To Atheist Paradise Of North Korea

WORLD—A surprising United Nations report indicated Tuesday that millions of atheist immigrants have begun fleeing oppressive nations built on Judeo-Christian beliefs, such as the United States and the United Kingdom, in favor of the “idyllic atheist paradise” of North Korea.

The totalitarian land of plenty has become a popular refuge for devout atheist pilgrims no longer able to take the persecution and backward philosophies of nations founded upon Judeo-Christian values. But increasing oppression in the U.S. has led to a record number of atheist immigrants flocking to Pyongyang.

“Thanks to the wise and godless policies of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, we can have a better life and a brighter future,” one atheist immigrant told state-controlled press as he began a third shift at a state-owned steel mill. “This is our Mecca.”

“Let us eternally glorify the sacred revolutionary careers and immortal feats of the great Comrade Kim Il Sung and Comrade Kim Jong Il!”