Millions Drop Dead As Brexit Finalized
World · Jan 31, 2020 ·

UNITED KINGDOM - As Brexit was finalized today, millions of Britons instantly dropped dead.

"Upon returning to the dystopian nightmare of self-determination and not being ruled by an elite group of unelected bureaucrats, millions died on the spot," said an NHS spokesperson. According to official reports, millions gathered to scream at the sky but instantly died instead. "It is as though millions of voices suddenly cried out at once but were suddenly silenced."

"They simply... lost the will to live," he added somberly. "You might say they died of a broken heart."

Remain voters said they tried to warn Brexit supporters that this would happen, but they didn't listen. "We were very clear that everyone would die in the event of leaving the EU, and look what happened," said London citizen Gaylord Mumfordshire III as he lay on his death bed. "EU... forever!" Mumfordshire III then breathed his last. There's actually a cure for death by Brexit that could have saved him, but he was on an NHS wait list.

The few surviving UK subjects aren't sure what they're going to do, though some said they're going to go to Disneyland now that they're not limited to that fake, knock-off European Disneyland.


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