Brought to you by: MyPillow
CHASKA, MN — Mike Lindell, founder and CEO of MyPillow, surprised investors this week by shaving his mustache and hiding it in one of millions of pillows shipping out to stores. It's part of a new promotion in which one lucky customer will receive a genuine pillow stuffed with his shaved mustache.
"It could be you!" Lindell said in a televised commercial in which he cradled the pillow containing his mustache. "This is the most comfortable mustache you'll ever sleep on. Guaranteed!"
The one-of-a-kind Mustache MyPillow is said to have been inspired by Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket promotion, only this time the ticket is the mustache and is not redeemable for a tour through the MyPillow factory. You just get a pillow stuffed with a mustache.
MyPillow marketers said the promotion would be a guaranteed success, with sales forecasts predicting over a million new customers. "Everyone's going to want that mustache," said executive team member Harold Downs.
In related news, an internal struggle among executives to oust Mike Lindell is currently brewing. "He no longer has a mustache, why should he lead us?" said board member Bob Foam. "Let me and my mustache take the MyThrone!"
At publishing time, Lindell was reportedly considering making the mustache-stuffed MyPillow an annual event if the promotion was successful.
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