Media: ‘Gas Prices Have Always Been Above $7 And We've Always Been At War With Russia’

U.S.—Mainstream media outlets are reporting this week that gas prices have always exceeded $7.00 a gallon and that we've always been at war with Russia. Also, there's never been such a thing as COVID.

CNN's Anderson Cooper was fact-checked by Snopes after his nightly broadcast. He was given a rating of "Entirely True."

"Anderson Cooper, and all who agree with him, are correct," Snopes confirmed. "He has never reported an outright lie or spread misinformation."

Nightly News With Lester Holt changed its name to "Facts w/ Les" and is just a constant list of things for loyal citizens to be aware of.

"Trans surgery for kids is good. There is no such thing as a slippery slope. We have been at war with Russia since time began. Jussie Smollet is innocent and everyone loves Stacey Abrams," said Holt.

He then turned to camera 2. "Breaking news, America has never existed. You live in China. Uyghurs aren't real."

PolitiFact rated Lester Holt's program as "Totes True."

At publishing time, The Babylon Bee was informed everything was fine. MSNBC, ABC, CNN, and Fox News never existed. And neither do we. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right. 

The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"!

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