BETHLEHEM — According to sources close to Mary, the Mother of Jesus, the young Jewish mom was touched by the gifts brought to her by the wise men: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Still, she was a bit disappointed that none of them had brought an air fryer.

"Oh, cool. Such great gifts. Thanks, guys!" she said, trying to mask her disappointment that she didn't get the slick kitchen appliance all her friends constantly brag about while hanging out by the well or at the Nazareth Mall. "So, there's like, just three of you? No biggie, was just making sure there weren't others on the way or anything. Cool, cool."

After the wise men had departed, Joseph reportedly caught Mary wistfully looking out the stable door toward the East, thinking she heard camel hooves. "Oh, guess it wasn't another wise man. That's fine. I'm really happy with the gifts I got and everything. Really, if I got more, it'd be too much. Like how would we lug home an air fryer anyway? I didn't really need one. It's kind of impractical."

At publishing time, Joseph had caught an envious Mary watching a Facebook story of Elizabeth opening her new air fryer and showing off some low-carb fried pickle spear recipes.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.