CINCINNATI, OH - While reading his Bible recently, Mark Thompson came to the startling realization that his secret love of the TV show Friends would one day come to light and be revealed to all. According to Revelation 20, everyone will be judged at the great white throne "according to what they had done." Deep in his soul, Thompson could not deny that this would include his ungodly affection for the unholy sitcom.

"No one other than God even knows I like it," Thompson said. "My buddies all think I think it's the worst show ever made. But I've seen every episode dozens of times. I even dream about it sometimes."

The 38-year-old software engineer says he understands now that no secret is safe from God and the final judgment to come at the end of all time. The heavy hand of discipline on Thompson's heart was evident when he realized he could give no excuse to justify his sinful passion. He admitted, "Chandler's occasional witty banter is not nearly enough of a reason to endure Ross' annoying sniveling and Joey's incompetence. And let's not even get started on Phoebe."

Thompson says he plans to repent of his sin after watching the series "just one more time."