OVERLAND PARK, KS — A local man brought great shame upon himself and his entire family today after exiting an elevator on the wrong floor, resulting in him having to get back on the elevator with the same people and finish the rest of the ride in disgrace.
"It's likely the most horrifying experience of my life," said Willie Plaschke, who had intended to get off on the 9th floor, but mistakenly exited on the 5th floor instead. "It was a busy morning, I didn't want to be late for work, and yeah…I just wasn't paying attention and lost count of what floor we stopped at. Now this day will haunt me as long as I live!"
Plaschke's fellow elevator occupants made every effort to pour salt into the wounds of his pride by staring at him to observe his reaction and then knowingly smiling at him when eye contact was made. "Yeah, I had to make sure he knew that I knew," said eyewitness Kristopher Sturgis. "He can't make an error like that and get away unscathed. He has to feel it, man. Feel it!"
Plaschke was relieved when the elevator finally reached the 9th floor, where he could bury himself in his work and attempt to forget the scandal. "I came close to breaking down in tears in the break room," he said. "If I stay busy enough, maybe I can keep my mind off of this terrible incident."
At publishing time, Plaschke tried to mentally prepare himself for the trip down the elevator at the end of the day before finally just deciding to use the stairs every day from now on.
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