PITTSBURG, PA—Democrat voters in Pennsylvania are complaining after encountering long lines at the polls. Some have waited over 3 hours in a government-run voting line for the chance to give the government complete control of their healthcare.
"This government-run line is a disgrace!" said local progressive voter Pingus Vertabidge. "I shouldn't have to wait for hours and hours in this government-run line to vote for government-run healthcare!"
According to polls, progressive voters across the state are voting for Joe Biden in hopes that he will usher in a golden age of government-run healthcare. Unfortunately, many voters are reporting that their votes are being suppressed by government-run voting lines. Experts say this may put the future of government-run healthcare in jeopardy.
Another progressive feminist voter in the line angrily spoke with reporters. "The government is the only thing that can ensure I have access to affordable, quality healthcare," she said. "There's nothing the government can't do! But this government-run line is going to stop me from voting for giving all the power over my healthcare to bureaucrats! This is injustice!" she yelled before lifting her head and shrieking at the sky.
The government has apologized for the long voting lines and is assuring the public that the lines for their cancer treatments and hip replacements will be much better run.