CENTENNIAL, CO - After reading Ephesians 5 for his morning devotional Monday morning, local man Kyle Nelson promised himself he'd begin to love his wife more sacrificially "as Christ loved the church."

He kicked off his new commitment right away, by throwing his dirty socks in the general direction of the laundry hamper, with the used pair ending up on the end of the bed, "pretty close" to the laundry basket in which they were supposed to be placed. He did so while pretending to be shooting a basketball free throw, but missed short of the basket, and called it "good enough."

"When the world sees my radical, Christlike devotion to my wife, they'll start to think there's something to this whole Christianity thing," he said proudly as he admired his handiwork. "Man, I'm a great spiritual leader."

The man then decided to take the rest of the day off, managing his fantasy football team from his smartphone as his wife prepared dinner. "We need to practice self-care if we're going to be able to give ourselves wholly to our family, just like Jesus did," he said. "Honey, are you about done? I'm pretty hungry."

At publishing time, Nelson had quickly run a little bit of water over his used cereal bowl before piling it in the sink for his wife to do later, in a radical act of love.