PORTLAND, OR — A local man who recently completed his transition to living as if he were a woman immediately regretted his decision to do so after seeing the line for the ladies' room at a large public event last night.
"I had no idea I would have to wait this long just to go pee," said Ryanna Everhardt upon discovering the line at the restroom. "Before I transitioned, I could just walk into the men's room, do my business at a urinal, wash my hands, and be back out in two minutes. Now this? I may have made a big mistake."
The restroom line, located at a local nightclub on the night of a performance by an all-trans Taylor Swift cover band, stretched the full length of the side hallway next to the stage and showed no signs of shortening. One biological female in line stated this is nothing new. "This is part of being a woman," said Monica Haj as her wait in line reached the 25-minute mark. "It's always like this. If some guy decides he's going to pretend to be a woman and use the ladies' bathroom, he's going to have to get used to this."
Everhardt — who was previously known as Ryan Everhardt — was later seen sitting outside the nightclub, seemingly in deep thought. "I don't know. Is it possible for them to like… reattach it?" he was heard muttering. "I can't spend the rest of my life waiting in line to use the bathroom."
At publishing time, Everhardt was last seen getting back in line and hoping he would be able to use the restroom before the concert was completely over.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!