SPENCER, NE — Local man Ryan Lewis rushed to Amazon to award a 5-star review to the random fantasy novel he picked up from a local thrift store when he discovered that it didn't just have a fantasy map — it had a fantasy map that folds out.
Frickin' SWEET!
"Oh maaaaaaaaan!" witnesses report Lewis yelled when he discovered the extra large map of Middle Earth during the First Age. "It folds out! Aw HECK YEAH!"
His Amazon review is republished below:
This is the greatest fantasy book ever written!
Now you can see the Forest of Brethil with your own eyes. It's not off on another page like the dumb forests in other books.
The story was okay I guess. You can tell it isn't pure Tolkien.
But that map!
5 stars
According to sources, The Children of Húrin has achieved newfound popularity thanks in part to Lewis' online review. Originally released to middling success because publishers failed to emphasize the unfolding fantasy map, the novel is now the best-selling of all of Tolkien's works.
"Guys, this fantasy map folds out!" Lewis told his friends later that day. "Now we can really study the land of Middle Earth in even more detail!"
At publishing time, book sales had propelled The Children of Húrin to the top of The New York Times Best Sellers list. The author's estate is now in talks with Amazon Prime about an adaption of the fantasy story.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
