Man On 15-Minute Phone Call Circumnavigates Globe
Life · Dec 7, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

GRAND VALLEY, CA - Local man Kyle Mankowski was talking on his cell phone over the weekend.

As is his habit, he got up and walked around while talking on the phone. Mankowski walked down the street, onto the highway, and all the way to the Eastern Seaboard, where he absentmindedly walked onto a cargo ship bound for Europe. After disembarking, he wandered across the continent, down toward Africa where he passed the Great Pyramid of Giza. Then, he walked across the deserts of the Middle East, miraculously dodging bullets from several rival factions.

"Yeah, anyway, if you want to go ahead with this project, I can assure you, our firm can handle your distribution needs from start to finish," he said to his client as he stepped over a landmine and began to climb the Hindu Kush mountain range in Afghanistan. "Do you want to discuss further over a little round of golf? I tell you what, Bob, I'm pretty rusty, but I'm pretty sure I can still whip you!" As the phone call wound down, Mankowski walked past the Taj Mahal in northern India and the entire country of China before boarding a passenger liner that stopped in Japan before landing back on the west coast of America.

"Well, I totally sealed that deal," he told his wife as he walked back into his home. His phone then rang again as his client recalled one other detail he forgot to mention. Mankowski answered, held up his index finger to his wife, and set off for Canada.


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