Health
Man Mauled By Lions After 'Daring To Be A Daniel' At LA Zoo

LOS ANGELES, CA—Inspired by a recent sermon in which his pastor had challenged the congregation to “dare to be a Daniel,” local man Philip Bracey jumped into the lion exhibit at the Los Angeles Zoo and was immediately mauled by the ferocious beasts, sources confirmed Monday.

“I dare to be a Daniel!” the man cried according to witnesses before leaping into the African lions’ enclosure, instantly attracting the attention of a nearby male and female lion.

As horrified zoo guests looked on, Bracey continued to make bold declarations of victory over the hungry predators as they circled him for several moments before pouncing and making a quick meal of the brave man attempting to follow in the biblical Daniel’s footsteps.

At publishing time, zoo personnel had posted signage reminding guests that daring to be a Daniel is “both suspect exegesis and potentially fatal.”

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