ATLANTA, GA — A dangerous, psychopathic madman charged with dozens of counts of attempting to violently overthrow the government has once again turned himself in peacefully to face yet another indictment charge, sources confirmed today. The seditious traitor accused of destabilizing the social order and calling into question our leaders' authority to rule calmy and peaceably arrived at the courthouse today, turned himself in while smiling and waving to supporters, and followed all rules and regulations, according to witnesses. Experts say they are shocked that this indictment and arrest process went so smoothly, when the man the government is arresting is clearly an anti-American, anarchic terrorist who is dead-set on bringing the whole system down. Weird!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
