TEMECULA, CA — Local man William Swoop arrived home after a long day at work Friday but found himself incapable of shutting off his car and entering his home. Sources say this is because Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" started playing on the radio, forcing him to idle in his driveway for seven minutes and fifty-five seconds until the song was finished.
"Oh no, it's happening. It's happening!" Swoop whispered as the iconic opening riff came through his car speakers. "Welp, guess I gotta stay here and let this song play out."
"I have no choice."
Five minutes into the song his wife came outside, having seen her husband's car through the front window. She knocked on the driver's side window but was unable to get the attention of her trance-like husband. "What are you doing?" she called out. "Dinner is ready!"
Without a word, Swoop reportedly held a finger up to the window as if to signal that he just needed a minute — or three. The man then rolled down his window and said aloud, "Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow? And did you know — your stairway lies on the whispering wind?"
At publishing time, William Swoop entered the home ready for dinner, but Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" came on the home stereo and he had to wait four minutes before being served.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!