Home > Sports > Study Confirms Kids Who Lose At Dodgeball Are 'Total Dorks'
Sports
Study Confirms Kids Who Lose At Dodgeball Are 'Total Dorks'

U.S.—In an extensive study, a team of jocks pegged numerous dweebs, nerds, and geeks with dodgeballs and reached a stunning conclusion: People who lose at dodgeball are a bunch of “dorks.”

“They just suck,” observed researcher Steve Majors. “Watch this,” he said before telling a subject to “think fast” and then pegging him so hard with a ball that the subject was knocked to the ground. “See, what a loser!” Majors added, summing up the results of the experiment.

Others on the research team had further findings that backed up the main conclusion, recording such observations as: People who get hit in the face cry too much; you have to not throw like a girl to win; and “NERRRDS!”

The researchers did have some advice, though, for losers who are now realizing they are a bunch of dorks. “Don’t be such a spaz,” Majors advised. “Also, maybe try and catch the ball.”
 

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.