GREAT FALLS, MT—After getting pulled over for driving 40 miles per hour in a 35-mph zone Friday afternoon, local landscaper and Bible study leader Victor Jenkins graciously let Officer Elizabeth Carpenter of the Great Falls Police Department off with a stern warning for taking on the role of a police officer.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” Officer Carpenter asked after walking up to Jenkins’ rolled-down window.
“Yes, yes I do. It’s because you’ve assumed a directly authoritative role in opposition to the naturally revealed guidelines of the Creator, ma’am,” Jenkins said calmly. “Since the curse in Genesis 3, woman has always desired to rule over man, and you’re simply living out your sinful desire to rule over your husband by exercising face-to-face authority over a male—namely, me.”
According to passersby, the woman police officer almost immediately began bawling, as the man had clearly struck a nerve, cutting to the core of her rebellion against God’s plan for men and women.
Luckily, Jenkins was in a good mood, and said, “I’m going to let you off with just a warning this time,” rather than citing her for a violation of his complementarian standards. Telling her to drive safe and have a nice day, he rolled up his window and drove away, after reportedly giving the officer several cassette tapes covering the proper roles for a woman, which she listened to on her way to the precinct to turn in her badge.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.