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Local Christian Would Do Anything For Jesus Except Believe Things That Are Unpopular

BROOKLYN, NY—"I would do anything for my faith," local Christian Ethan Werner told a BuzzFeed News religion reporter as they met in a Brooklyn coffee shop, "just as long as I can retain my credibility with the world."

Werner represents a new kind of Christian: one who is bold, willing to live out his faith, and will go to radical lengths to follow Christ, "just as long as I don't have to come out in support of things the culture disagrees with." 

"Would I die for Jesus?" he mused, sipping a cappuccino. "Yes. Yes, I suppose I would. If someone were to walk in here and point a gun at me and ask if I believed in Christ, I would stand up and say, 'Yes. I believe.'" At that moment, someone came up and asked if he supported a biblical position on traditional marriage.

The brave Christian man spit out his coffee. "What? No, of course not! The Bible is all wrong about that kind of stuff!" He then apologized profusely for his fellow Christians who are "cowards" and stand up for the Bible even when it becomes socially unpopular. "I am so sorry for my fellow Christians who are not as brave as I am." He then handed the man a $20 as his "reparations" for other Christians' oppressive beliefs.

He is so good at living his faith out that he got a glowing writeup by BuzzFeed News as well as the Huffington Post. Both publications praised him for being so faithful to Christian values right up to the point where they become unacceptable by the world.

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