Liberals Tell Everyone To Calm Down About The Siege Since The Capitol Has Insurance

WASHINGTON, D.C.—There was outrage throughout the country over the siege on the Capitol Wednesday, but one group urged everyone to keep things in perspective: America’s progressives.

“I can’t believe everyone is getting so worked up over some property damage,” said liberal pundit Howard Collier. “The Capitol has insurance, and all of that can get replaced. What we should be doing is trying to understand what made these people so angry in the first place.”

Liberals pointed out that often people can’t be heard unless they take action like this, and the whole siege was simply an expression of people who felt disenfranchised. “The real tragedy was the unarmed woman who was shot,” said left-wing online activist Veronica Neal. “This just shows we need to defund the Capitol police. If they weren’t there, this wouldn't have escalated.”

The siege has also gained support from some liberal members of Congress. “The point of protests is to make people feel uncomfortable,” said Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the world’s smartest socialist. “And I’m really uncomfortable because there is trash all over where I work. So good job.” She then gave a thumbs up.

It is unknown what President Donald Trump thinks about all this, as he is still banned from social media, but he plans to mail out a newsletter today.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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