LOS ANGELES — In the wake of total devastation brought about by the LA fires, Mayor Karen Bass has promised her constituents she would authorize a full investigation into why she was allowed to become mayor of Los Angeles.
"I have no idea what I'm doing and I need to figure out why people thought I could do it," Bass said in a statement. "This whole thing has really been unfair to me."
According to new polling data, voters are pointing the finger at each other, assuming that someone else was responsible for voting for Karen Bass. "I didn't vote for her!" said LA resident Jennifer Garner. "Ugh, I bet it was Ben. That guy's the worst."
Bass previously questioned why any special interest groups would rally around her to become mayor. "This wasn't an idea I had," she recounted. "They came to me and asked me to be mayor. I will not rest until I discover who is responsible for me saying 'yes.'"
Her office has promised to use every resource at its disposal to find out why she was allowed to become the mayor. The scope of the investigation includes questioning "the elites" about why they chose her and interrogating voters on why they could possibly think she was qualified for the job.
At publishing time, Karen Bass had reprimanded herself for becoming mayor by suspending herself with pay until such time as the investigation could be concluded.
Meet Devyn. The 16-year-old Chick-fil-A worker who has replaced the entire government.
