SMYRNA, GA — In a historic sports milestone sure to be chronicled in generations to come, a local kids' soccer coach unveiled a new play where the entire team chases the ball and kicks it at the same time.
The revolutionary new tactic was hailed by witnesses as a monumental step forward in the game, with experts touting the genius of Coach Pete Nader for devising such a complex and nuanced strategy.
"It just came to me one day," Nader said following the game when asked about the new play. "I was trying to come up with a new game plan when I thought to myself, 'Why don't I just have all the kids follow the ball the entire time and all try to kick it at once?' As soon as it popped into my head, I knew it was a winner."
Nader's team, the Wildcats, won a decisive victory after employing the new tactic. "It was pure genius," said one parent. "It simultaneously unleashed an offensive onslaught on the opposing team and created a fog of confusion that made it difficult for anyone to see what was going on or where the ball was most of the time. Coach Pete is a mastermind."
The Wildcats celebrated the step they took in evolving the game of soccer with orange slices and juice boxes while their parents took turns congratulating Coach Pete on his tactical prowess.
At publishing time, Coach Pete said he was considering branching out to little league baseball, where he expected to have success with his strategy of having the outfielders chase butterflies and toss their gloves up in the air during the game.
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