AURORA, CO—Aiden and his wife Everly were on keto, and they saw that it was good.
But then, they had lunch at a cute little bistro. While Aiden went to use the restroom, the waitress, Satine, asked Everly if they wanted some bread for the table.
"No, we are not to eat of the forbidden bread," she said, "for we are on keto, and we must not eat from anything with carbohydrates in it."
But Satine was more crafty than any of the other service staff. She replied, "Are you really not allowed to eat bread? Are carbs really that bad?"
Everly said to Satine, "We may eat of everything the Lord has given us -- cheeses, meats, eggs and very limited carbohydrates, but if we eat bread, we will surely die. Or at least gain weight or something; I'm not really sure how it works."
"You will not surely gain weight," Satine replied. "You have been deceived. When you taste of the forbidden bread, your eyes will be opened, and you will recognize just how good wheat-based products are. I mean, have you ever seen those parmesan garlic pita chips? They're, like, soooooo good."
When Everly saw that the bread was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also that it had some delicious, melted butter on top, she took some and ate it. When her husband got back from the bathroom, she gave him some, and he ate it.
But then their eyes were opened, and they realized they had kicked themselves out of ketosis. So they descended into all sorts of debauchery: potato chips, avocado toast, Hawaiian rolls, beer, and other sinful activities, since they were off the keto wagon anyway.
It's OK, though, because they're going to restart keto for the 79th time tomorrow.