Judge Instructs Jury To Ignore Angry Mob Outside Threatening To Burn Down Courthouse
U.S. · Nov 15, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

KENOSHA, WI - With closing arguments completed in the Kyle Rittenhouse case, the judge is now giving the jury their instructions before they deliberate, reminding them to ignore the angry mob that is currently outside threatening to burn the whole building down. 

"Please be fair and impartial," he said to the jurists, who were all wearing Kevlar helmets and body armor. "Just ignore the bloodthirsty mob of communists threatening to terrorize you and your family forever if you don't find Rittenhouse 'guilty'. That should not factor into your decision at all."

"Guilty or we burn it down! Guilty or we burn it down!" replied the mob outside, furious that they were being ignored. 

The jurists have asked for a 20-minute head-start to get in their cars and drive to the nearest bomb shelter before the verdict is revealed. They have also asked for 24/7 armed security provided by Kyle Rittenhouse. 


Michael Simmons' doctor tells him he's obese and needs to lose some weight - but the patient has the perfect comeback: he's pregnant!

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

Comments

There are 114 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.