WASHINGTON, D.C. — A journalist and senior editor at National Public Radio has been suspended, leading to the astounding revelation that there was a journalist working at NPR.
Uri Berliner, who has worked at the taxpayer-funded media organization for 25 years, was suspended after he recently wrote an essay exposing how NPR had lost all trust among the nation's public.
"Wow, they had a real journalist at NPR? That's news to me!" said one member of the astonished nation's public. "I thought they were just mellow voices on the radio that told me in a matter-of-fact, upper-crust, college-educated manner what Leftist narrative I was supposed to believe about any given story."
"He was there all that time?" asked one mom from Ohio. "And to think — all this time I thought that they just sat around waiting for Obama and George Soros to tell them what to write. Who knew there was one guy there trying to actually understand and report on factual events in the world? Well, good for that guy."
According to polling data from The National Trust In Media Institute, these sentiments resonated with 90% of Americans who agreed with the statement "NPR's role was to be a news organization that tells you what you are allowed to think about a wide range of stories, including the origin of covid and lab leak theories, the authenticity of the Hunter Biden laptop, and the fault of Israel in any Middle-eastern conflict."
"Out of 87 editors in our D.C. office there were 0 Republicans," wrote Uri before being suspended for pointing out how NPR had zero viewpoint diversity.
At publishing time, National Public Radio reassured the nation that they were still committed to transparent, impartial Leftist journalism.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
