MILANO — One of the world's most infamous supervillains announced plans to unleash years of pent-up frustration on the innocent residents of an unsuspecting American city, as the Joke vowed to take revenge on Gotham City after finishing in 13th place in figure skating at the 2026 Milano Cortina Winter Olympics.
Once favored to contend for a medal, the Clown Prince of Crime's hopes were dashed by multiple mistakes in the short program that resulted in elimination. Angered by the outcome, the Joker lashed out at the media and threatened the lives of everyone in Gotham City.
"You will all suffer for this!" the Joker ranted to reporters. "I should have won the gold! The gold, you hear me?! But just like that meddling Batman, these Olympic judges want to stand in my way at every turn. I won't stand for this. No, I won't. It's time for the men, women, and children of Gotham to feel my wrath. If I can't be on the podium for my figure skating, then I'll have to make headlines the old-fashioned way… by killing millions of innocent people! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The murderous psychopath lamented the failure of his grand plan. "I planned this for years!" he said. "Do you think it was easy to squeeze into one of Harley's sparkly outfits like this and memorize a skating routine? No! It was all to fulfill my lifelong dream of winning Olympic gold. I thought it would be easier to defeat the women, but I blew it. Now… Gotham will be shedding all the tears!"
At publishing time, the Joker had retaliated by poisoning the drinking water in the Olympic Village.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
