SUN VALLEY, CA - During a recent Sunday morning church service, pastor John MacArthur reportedly healed a charismatic visitor of his belief that the miraculous sign gifts are for today.

As MacArthur was preaching on the cessation of the sign gifts, the visitor reportedly stood up and began arguing with him. MacArthur politely listened, then invited the man to come up on stage with him. He then laid hands on the charismatic man and uttered a few words, but the man began to convulse violently.

MacArthur then calmly removed his suit jacket, took a step back, and "just went nuts on the guy," according to witnesses, smacking him dozens of times with the coat before the man finally went limp and toppled backwards into the waiting arms of Phil Johnson.

"Arise, my child," MacArthur whispered. "You are healed."

After the pastor's words had breathed new life into him, the man jumped up and joyously shouted, "The miraculous gifts were the sign of a new dispensation and ceased with the passing of the apostles and the closing of the New Testament canon! Hallelujah---I am healed!"

The crowd cheered as MacArthur put his jacket back on and returned to preaching through the New Testament half a verse at a time.