HOUSTON, TX—A coalition of prosperity gospel preachers has come together to give the nation the very first HeresyCon, an electric three-day conference where attendees will get to hear some of the very best heresy the nation's wolves have to offer.
HeresyCon will feature all the nation's most prominent and notorious hucksters, including Benny Hinn, Creflo Dollar, and big-name headliner Joel Osteen.
"Those who want to come and be blessed by the very best speakers in apostasy can pre-order tickets today for just $999 for a one-day pass or $4,999 for the whole weekend," spokesperson Paula White said in an online video unveiling the conference. "Attendees will get the experience of a lifetime hearing the world's very best pretend pastors espouse every kind of heresy known to man, including the Word-Faith aberration, moral therapeutic deism, and good old-fashioned standbys like modalism."
The con will also feature a large exhibitors' hall, where companies can offer products like prayer cloths, blessed holy water, and miracle manna bread for sale at ridiculously high prices. Attendees will be encouraged to dress up as their favorite heretics and fraudsters throughout church history, with fan favorites like Arius and Judas Iscariot expected to make a strong showing.