PHILADELPHIA, PA—In an effort to make their candidate seem relevant, the Biden campaign has announced a new podcast that will be available exclusively on vinyl.
Every week, Biden will release short soundbite updates that will be pressed on 45s, while his longer, feature-length podcast will be on full-size 33-1/3 records.
"Every day after school, when you gather with your chums to listen to records, why not give my podcast a spin?" Biden said in a speech. "You're down at the hop, doo-woppin' with all the cool cats, and maybe they'll think you're square for wantin' to spin a record from ol' Uncle Biden here. But you gotta tell 'em they're cruisin' for a bruisin' and you're the one who's cookin' with gas."
"Anyway, text www. 30330 to Joe dot biz to check out the new podcast, folks," he concluded.
Sources have also confirmed that the podcast played backward is just as incoherent as the podcast played forward.
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