WORLD—According to sources, the worldwide movement currently careening down a slippery slope toward unspeakable depravity is forcefully denying such a slippery slope even exists.

A handful of closed-minded Christians have tried to suggest that demolishing the bedrocks of Western civilization to create a new moral code from scratch may lead to some bad things.

“C’mon bro-- that’s a slippery slope fallacy,” said part-time online philosophy expert Travis Goobleton. “Any suggestion that one bad thing might lead to a worse bad thing should be absolutely rejected-- woah! Cool! A 12-year-old drag queen!”

According to some, wisdom suggests there is such a thing called as a “slippery slope.” Unfortunately, wisdom has been renamed “common sense,” which is a source of knowledge widely rejected as unreliable and lame by most sociologists.

Reason and world history also suggest there may be something to the “slippery slope” idea, but those things have also been rejected as a tool of white supremacy.

Biblical revelation contains several documented cases of cultures traveling down “slippery slopes” as well. Unfortunately, experts have determined the Bible to be an ancient book of myths that is of absolutely no use to modern people.

“Seriously, we’re gonna be fine. Humanity is evolving. You culture-warriors need to give it a rest,” said Goobleton. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take my 7-year-old boy to his drag show.”