SAMARIA — According to insiders, King Ahab of Israel lamented a recent meeting he had with the prophet Elijah, admitting that just once he would like the prophets to say God is pleased and that everything is fine and dandy.
Prophets are always telling him about droughts or lost battles or that he will die, and it's not fun, says the king. "Just once, I'd really like God to say I was doing a good job, you know?"
Ahab recalled in his first meeting with the prophet Elijah, that he had tried to be friendly as he greeted the prophet, asking him if he liked all the cool statues of Baal he had built. But the prophet only answered: "As the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."
At the time Ahab had been blindsided. "What? Why?"
Elijah had been undeterred by the king's outburst. "I mean, it's the Baal worship mostly," he had said, taking his leave.
Ahab has met with many prophets: Elijah, Micaiah, and some other guys he can't remember the name of. According to the king, they all bring him terrible news and he's really tired of it.
"Would it kill God to say He was pleased and that everything was just dandy?" Ahab reportedly told his wife Jezebel. "These prophets are really harshing my buzz."
At publishing time, Elijah returned saying, "This is what the Lord says: ‘Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?'… In the place where dogs licked up Naboth's blood, dogs will lick up your blood — yes, yours!" When King Ahab countered by threatening to tell his wife all about it, Elijah said he had more bad news to share.
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