Hey men! Did you know women expect you to know your own wedding anniversary and plan something special? Oh no! Could today be the day?
Know the signs that today is your wedding anniversary:
1) Your wife says something cryptic like, "I got you a present.": But it's not Christmas or your birthday? Something's up here...
2) It feels like it's been quite a while since the last one: But could it have been a year? Need more data for analysis.
3) Your wife is loudly sighing at twice her normal rate: She's probably just annoyed about the kids, right? It's no big deal. Go back to your video game.
4) You read this headline and thought, "Oh crap!": Deep down, you already know the answer.
5) Your wife stormed off when you said "Good morning!" and nothing else: Was it something you said? Oh no! It's your anniversary!
6) The calendar in the kitchen has the date circled with a little heart for some reason: Could it be Valentine's Day II?
7) The date engraved on the inside of your wedding ring happens to be today's date: Quick! Look at your wedding ring!
If you have noticed any of these signs, get out the checkbook. You have some jewelry to buy, pal!
NOTE TO WOMEN: If you forgot your wedding anniversary, don't worry. Your husband will be relieved.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.